I have office impostor syndrome. Upstairs in our split-level house, I have a room of my own with curtains, a desk, and a chair I seldom sit in. The office smells like stale cigarette smoke (from the previous owners) no matter how many atomizers and deodorizers we run (and we have run many). But the smoke isn’t what keeps me out of that office.
Instead of working in a space that’s all mine, designed with my productivity in mind, I work downstairs. I work at my gaming PC. I built it with my partner specifically for gaming. Little else fits on the desk, but for my day job, I manage to cram my laptop in there somehow. It’s chaotic, to say the least.
So, why do I work down here, with neon lights and games and my partner (also working) to distract me? For one thing, it’s a hell of a lot less lonely and depressing down here. I get a productivity boost from watching my partner work. Mostly, though, I write down here because I don’t feel like I deserve a whole office.
Home offices, in my mind, should be for full-time authors only. People who make bank from books. And I’m not there quite yet.
This is such an arbitrary distinction and I have no clue where it came from, but it’s hard for me to shake. I don’t feel like I’m “worthy” of my own space with a window and a door and everything. I feel like I should stick to my small space here and feel grateful.
Then again, the space I’ve set up at my PC is comfortable. Soothing. A neon-pink lightning bolt light hangs on the wall, next to am embroidered RESTING WITCH FACE decoration. My 3D-printed Millennium Falcon rests in the corner. I keep a candle and a crystal where I can see them.
This space makes me happy, and for now, that’s what I need.
Briana Morgan (she/her) is a YA horror and fantasy writer. She’s a proud member of the Horror Writers Association and loves all things spooky. As of 2021, Briana is the author of several novels and plays, including Blood and Water, Touch: A One-Act Play, Reflections, A Writer’s Guide to Slaying Social, Livingston Girls, Unboxed: A Play, and The Tricker-Treater and Other Stories. When not writing, she enjoys gaming, watching movies, and reading. Briana lives in Atlanta with her partner and two cats.
You can find Briana on her website, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Amazon, and Goodreads.
