I attend a lot of writing conferences and book festivals, and therefore, I have the opportunity to meet a ton of writers on a fairly regular basis. I was at a recent conference and studying some of the writers there, as I often do. (I like to study writers so I can try and get to the root of why they are the way they are. I try to really take inventory of their pain points so I can try and help them in the future.)
One thing I noticed was that everyone had a tough time calling themselves a writer. Every time I would ask, “Are you a writer?” there would either be a long pause or the response, “Kind of.” I counted one person after the next, and to be honest, I never really got a solid, “Yes, I’m a writer” at a writing conference.
Why are writers so hesitant to call themselves writers? My conclusion: writers think they need to be really accomplished. Somehow, they don’t have everything under their belts to warrant the title. They think they don’t deserve it. But this is all a matter of mindset, really. You are a writer if you write and you say you’re a writer. You have every right to call yourself one.
I figured it would be beneficial to put together some tips on how to build confidence as a writer. So many people talk about owning the title, but not enough is being said about how to fix your mindset so you can have a healthy relationship with writing.
1. Declare it and remind yourself often.
Did you know when you repeat something to yourself over and over you eventually start to believe it? Once you believe it, that belief turns into a feeling. That feeling is directly connected to the universe, which manifests itself in tangible ways. What I mean is, your thoughts shape your reality. If you believe you’re not a writer, then you’re not a writer, and vice versa.
So, first, I’m going to need you to say loud and proud that you’re a writer. Then I want you to keep repeating it. Buy a shirt that says “writer,” put a writer sticker on your laptop, write it in your notebook every day. Think about your current thoughts. How are those working for you? Negative thoughts, including saying you’re not a writer, keep you in that same place. Why not try something else? Call yourself a writer, say it proud, and repeat it again and again.
2. Attend writing events and conferences.
I get it. So many writers are introverts. BUT, the only way you’re going to have more confidence is to practice. You have to put yourself out there, and doing so socially is one of the ways. When you attend an event, especially if you don’t know anyone, introduce yourself to other writers. Here’s the thing, we’re all in this together. Plus, it’s a lot easier to make small talk when everyone has a uniting factor. Try asking, “What do you write?” or “Have you been to this conference before?” or “How did you like that panel/workshop?” or “Where are you from?” Those are my personal favorites. It’s a lot harder to do now in a global pandemic, but you can still make these connections online.
You have to continuously challenge yourself to make connections with strangers. The more you do it, the easier it will become. Not only will you be practicing, but you’ll probably make some wonderful connections. I think writing friends are essential for a successful journey. Which leads me to my next point.
3. Join a writers group.
The benefits of having some kind of support system are immense. Yes, you have to actually write, but going at it with other people who have similar goals keeps you focused. It also shows you that you aren’t alone. Personally, my writing friends motivate me to keep going and not give up despite rejections and other writing roadblocks. I do the same for them. They will encourage you. They will help you solve problems. They will be an invaluable asset to your writing life. The Writer’s Atelier Online Community is a great place to start for free. You can also check out our accountability program, The Write Gym.
4. Keep learning the craft every day.
I recently went to a conference and a friend mentioned the workshops we do at Writer’s Atelier to another writer. His response was “I think I’m beyond workshops.” First, I was shocked, second I was annoyed. I don’t think any writer is ever beyond learning their craft. This is the kind of career that demands attention every day, and I am a firm believer that there is always something to learn.
Additionally, learning the craft helps you stay inspired and gives you the confidence to keep writing, I promise. Go to workshops, take online classes, read craft books (read in general), listen to podcasts (like The Write Mindset and Legion of Writers), but never, ever stop learning.
5. Write.
At the end of the day, you can’t be a writer if you’re not writing. Just as you have to practice socializing, you have to practice your craft. There’s an age old saying that talks about putting in 10,000 hours in order to become an expert at something. That’s how much time you need to put in with your writing if you want to be great. As you practice your craft, you will become a better writer. That’s the way it works. Growing as a writer and developing your skillset will give you the confidence you need to succeed.
The point is that you have to keep working on yourself as a writer. Don’t for a second think that if you just do “X,” you’ll magically be more confident. Nope. These are techniques that you must practice frequently. It’s all part of personal development.
Racquel Henry is a Trinidadian writer, editor, and writing coach who earned her MFA from Fairleigh Dickinson University. She co-founded Black Fox Literary Magazine in 2011 and remains an active co-editor. In 2014, she founded the writing studio, Writer’s Atelier in Maitland, FL, and was recently appointed as Editor-in-Chief at Voyage YA. Racquel’s fiction, nonfiction, and poetry has been published in Lotus-eater Literary Magazine, Moko Caribbean Arts & Letters, Reaching Beyond the Saguaros: A Collaborative Prosimetric Travelogue (Serving House Books, 2017), Thrill of the Hunt Anthology: Welcome to Whitebridge (Palmas Press, 2017), and We Can’t Help it if We’re From Florida (Burrow Press, 2017), among others. She is the author of the novelette, Holiday on Park, and The Writer’s Atelier Little Book of Writing Affirmations (Writer’s Atelier Books, 2018).
